Could Limit Excersizes Help Your Family?

Children's first exposure to problem solving is usually with their parents, peers and most of all siblings, especially when limits or rules are ignored.

I suggest creating Limit, Problem-Solving and Negotiating Exercises for your children. I wouldn't go out and create challenges. We all know challenges present themselves on a regular basis in families. You could use these ideas as situations happen.

Let your children take the responsibility of knowing the steps of how to keep calm.

Limit Excersize
Each child takes a turn at the following;
Step 1. Describe the limit or challenge.
Step 2. Have each child empathize with the other child.
Step 3. Work with the children on how to put their feelings into words in a tranquil manner and not attack the other child.
Step 4. Let each child express their needs.
Step 5. If a child's limit is ignored, support them by stating family rules.
Step 6. Help your children problem-solve.
Step 7. Have each child report what they have heard from each other.

Listening Exercise
Step 1. Keep calm and move your children out of fight or flight mode.
Step 2. Allow your children to speak for themselves.
Step 3. Repeat the words of each child by quoting them, if one child is not listening.
Step 4. Have each child report what they have heard from each other.
Step 5. Remind the children that your house rules include looking for a balanced solution, where each person walks away from a problem feeling as if they've won.

Problem Solve Exercise
Step 1. Once again, stay calm.
Step 2. Discuss the problem or challenge without judgment. Have each child state if they agree there is a problem.
Step 3. Remove the children from the situation. If it's a physical object, remove the object.
Step 4. Invite the children to brainstorm all possible solutions in writing or drawings.
Step 5. Go through the solutions one by one with them. As "what if" questions allowing them to see the solution all the way through. Restate what the problems are with these possibilities as they arise.
Step 6. Write down the final solution and observe how it's implemented.
Step 7. More coaching may be needed as the solution mat need to be refined.

Negotiating Exercise
Some of the most common ways children can start negotiating are;
1. Trade offs
2. Taking Turns
3. Sharing
4. Splitting in half
5. Teaming up
6. Adding to family rules

No Tattling or Nagging Exercise
Step 1. Speak softly and remember, children only do these, when the see a limit that has been broken. They are simply asking for help. They just need help communicating.
Step 2. Ask if they would like to take any action.
Step 3. Begin the Problem-solving exercise.

These few steps during real life situations will hand the responsibility back to them with teaching natural consequences. Once the problem is solved, you have the easy part. Share love!